9: Setting The Table

When I was growing up my mom would ask one of the siblings to set the table, it wasn’t a hard job, but it took a moment out of whatever you were doing to prepare for what was about to come. Whether it was the ever simple chicken and rice, spaghetti night, or family favorite Mama’s Pizza. Setting the table was a daily routine that was required before our family enjoyed the company of one another around a meal. 

Now as an impatient, selfish teenage boy, this was one of my least favorite things to do. I was always caught up in what I was doing in the late afternoon, and by that I mean playing Halo 3 with the boys! I wanted to play one more game, get that one last victory with the guys before we shut down the games and had dinner before our night time routine. A few times a week that dreaded call came.

“Trevor, come set the table, dinner is almost ready!” 

Many times I thought to myself 

“Oh come-on, can’t Annie or Tyler do it? I’m in the middle of something important. You know we can’t pause online games…”

I’m not sure if my wonderful mother ever understood that I couldn’t pause while online, but in her mind, after working her long workday and coming home to make her children a nice dinner, it was the least she could expect for the kids to set out the four or five plates with napkins and silverware. It wasn’t hard, in fact, it might have been the simplest of chores that we had to do in the house. My selfish adolescent brain just didn’t understand the importance of this simple task.

Setting the table, it is a simple yet effective way to bring forth hospitality to the ones who would sit at the table. It shows the guest that they are invited and have a place that was purposefully planned for them. When the table is not set, or worse, when the table is hastley set after you’ve already sat down. it lacks the thought and purpose behind you being there, and psychologically, you feel left out or forgotten. 

This simple chore can be translated into community, both physically, emotionally, and spiritually. 

Now more than 15 years after this simple chore was in my life I find myself setting the table in a multitude of ways. Both physically at my own home as I cook and prepare meals for my family, emotionally as I am intentional in asking others for their input in situations, and spiritually as I help lead a congregation weekly into fellowship and the sharing of the Eucharist weekly. Setting the table is an act that mature leaders must take on, not only to be in community, but to inspire it into action. 

I’ve already started explaining the first act of setting the table, the physical element. So many of us already partake in this simple task. Before dinner, getting the plates, napkins, silverware, and cups out for those to join and enjoy the meal that they would partake in. There are multiple ways to do this as well. From laying out an entire spread on the table with each person's name written on a card knowing their place at the table, to simply setting out a stack of each item on the kitchen island for those who might join to grab, buffet style as my mom would call it.

How do we emotionally set the table? I will be honest with you, I am still growing in this area. There have been many moments in my relationships with others that I have not been open to others opinions or input, I’ve thought that I already have had it figured out and didn’t need any additional help. I’ve also gone the extreme in the other direction of letting everyone express everything and never actually making any decisions on a matter only to end up creating more problems in the end of it all. 

I believe that this table setting in the community is brought forth by the humility of a leader, but not letting go of the leadership in its entirety. It is important as a leader to be willing to step down from whatever position you might hold to hear the words and thoughts of those around you. They more often than not, will show you a place you might overlook, or express a different opinion that you haven’t considered. To humble oneself before the community shows a great deal of maturity and growth, that not only should inspire your team or employees, but also to help improve morale amongst the community. 

Like I had mentioned above, the leader must then take back control to help the community move forth. There won’t always be a unanimous consensus among the community when these discussions take place, and so when that happens it is the job of the leader to help move forward by taking the input that was brought forth and deciding what path to take next. It is much easier said than done, because many times the decision that is made will not be met with applause. Understand that when the table was set for the community to come together and bring in what they see as the right choice, hopefully maturity will win and the decision will be met with support even if it wasn’t exactly as every person in the room saw fit. 

Finally, spirituality setting the table. I’ve spent practically my entire life in the church in some capacity. My family has deep roots in the church and in its leadership, and so from a young age I was looked upon to set the table spiritually for my siblings, my small groups, and my friends. Yet, in some areas of my life I was only to look to the leadership for this to occur. 

I will say, there are many times when mature leadership must step forth and lead the community through whatever it might be going through. Rough storms that seem to be tossing the boat, hard winters that are freezing out the innocent, hot summers that drain the weary. You get what I am saying right? There are moments throughout culture and our lives in which we must turn to our leadership to guide us through the cultural, or social changes while being faithful to God. 

These moments do happen, and we cannot look past them or ignore them. Leaders have not always made the right calls in these moments and it would be ignorant for us to not reflect on what has happened in our churches. But what about the ordinary? What about the times where it seems as if we as the church are going through the motions? 

It is the responsibility of the pastor to guide the church through ordinary time. What is ordinary  time? “Christmas Time and Easter Time highlight the central mysteries of the Paschal Mystery, namely, the incarnation, death on the cross, resurrection, and ascension of Jesus Christ, and the descent of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost. The Sundays and weeks of Ordinary Time, on the other hand, take us through the life of Christ. This is the time of conversion. This is living the life of Christ.

Ordinary Time is a time for growth and maturation, a time in which the mystery of Christ is called to penetrate ever more deeply into history until all things are finally caught up in Christ. The goal, toward which all of history is directed, is represented by the final Sunday in Ordinary Time, the Solemnity of Our Lord Jesus Christ, King of the Universe.” (Ordinary Time.)

For so much of our lives we are caught in the ordinary, social media has distorted this and encouraged us to become more than we are capable of. Think about your own feed, you don’t post the mundane daily things you do right? Typically is the best of the best. The best photos, the best food, the best trips, the best people. You don’t post the stale lunch you had on the 1,262 day of work for all to enjoy, because no one would enjoy that. 

As so we are caught up in seeing the best of people's lives and can fall into the trap that others are doing more, are being better, are experiencing it all. Yet, the majority of us are not, we are simply sitting at our kitchen table, office space, or front seat of the car double tapping the screen to send a digital heart without a moment spent on the caption. 

So the pastor, leader, and teacher must step forth and set the table during the ordinary. Create space to hear the voice of Christ in the midst of our chaos. This can be difficult for those who have never had to do it and even for those who have done it dozens of times. In my limited experience in this life I have found a few things to be true. Faithfulness, patience, humbleness, generosity. Really, all of the fruits of the spirit, but in these four major areas I have seen ordinary time lead well. 

We must as leaders be faithful and patient in the midst of the ordinary. Don’t expect the “camp high” every Sunday, it would be near impossible to maintain that level of intensity daily. Instead remain faithful to the call that God has placed in your heart and patience as he moves in the midst of the community. 

Humble yourself before God and your community. Yes, we must lead and make decisions on what we are going to preach about, how our church will operate and function, and what events we will and won't do during the year. But allow yourself to also experience the ordinary, to sit in the silence of The Lord and listen for his voice. Show your people through your actions that you do trust God and what he has called us to do, or not do. 

Be generous with what we have, most of you are probably thinking about finances when I bring this up. My mind in the area of setting the table spiritually goes to a different place though. I believe if we humble ourselves and are generous with our platform we can allow God to move in ways that we did understand before. I think of a few different scriptures in the idea of humbleness and generosity. 

“12 Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.” 1 Timothy 4:12 (NLT).

“14 But Jesus said, ‘Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children.’” Matthew 19:14 (NLT).

I think back to my own journey and ministry and I can say without any doubt that the only reason I am in the position and have the knowledge I do today is because of faithful committed leaders who Humbled themselves before God and were generous with the platform they had. I was given many opportunities to lead at such a young age.

From serving in the nursery taking care of toddlers when I was in sixth and seventh grade. Starting a Jr High small group as a sophomore in high school. Becoming the chaplain of FCA my senior year. Teaching college group Sunday School my first year of college. Leading Children’s and Youth Ministry as a college drop out. Given the opportunity to preach in “Big Church'' as the Youth Pastor. 

I’ve been given even more opportunities to do things in leadership before I turned thirty, and I truly believe that I have become the man and Pastor I am today because of it. But I look to others my age and see that this experience is not universal, and in many cases other’s journeys have been completely uphill while being held back at every turn. I don’t think it is a coincidence that we see multiple times in scripture young people being mentioned, in fact I think it is there on purpose for us as leaders to utilize the strengths that many young people can bring to the table. But we as leaders must step forth and set it for them. 

When was the last time that your senior pastor gave up the pulpit for someone else? And I am not talking about their vacation Sunday’s when they pull up the backup preacher, or bring in a guest speaker that most of the regular givers enjoy. I know that I might be stepping on some toes here when I say these things, but setting the table spiritually might mean stepping back from the pulpit to allow others, maybe even younger people, speak the truth of Christ into our own lives. 

Rich Villodas says this “I’m a big advocate for preaching teams, because the lead pastor needs to sit under the proclaimed words of God just like everyone else. In addition, the church gets to hear needed perspectives from others in the community. This can also communicate that the local community doesn’t organize all of its life around one person and their gifts.” (Rich Villodas - Public Figure.) In allowing the sharing of the pulpit, the lead pastor helps spur forth the next generation of preachers and leaders. I am bold enough to say that young people are not the future of the church but are the current generation of it, and those who are yet to be born are the future.

So setting the table might not seem like an important thing, it sure didn't to adolescent Trevor. But this seemingly simple task has the ability to create immense intimate, intercultural and intergenerational communities that will continue for generations. A faithful, patient, humble, and generous leader will create a space in which the community will continue to grow and be inspired, even in the ordinary.