Currently I am sitting on a bench 100 yards away from the Pacific Ocean. Let me set the stage for you, my alarm woke me from my restless sleep at 3:30 am. I had gotten up three times in the night to help calm down my son as I tried to let my wife sleep. Over the next hour or so I gathered my things, packed up my son and my wife and drove to the airport. Rachelle dropped me off curbside in front of Alaskan Airlines, she gave me a quick kiss as her tired face lifted a smile.
Over the next six hours I flew from the desert of the southwest to the rains of the Pacific Northwest. I started less than two hours from Mexico and ended two hours from Canada. I was traveling for a good friend's wedding. I only brought a backpack with a single change of clothes, my phone charger and the Nintendo switch to play the new Marvel game I just purchased the week before.
I only played the game for about an hour before sleep took me on the flight. After landing at my destination I picked up my rental car, funny enough the cheapest option for us was a luxury pickup, the F-150 is a nice ride (Ford, feel free to tweet me). I drove the hour and a half drive from the airport to Cannon Beach where I am sitting on this bench, watching the waves crash onto the sand. I’ve seen so many families and friends walk and enjoy this place as I rest for the first time all day, as I type the wedding party is texting the group chat where to meet up.
I’m picking up this story nearly three and a half years later. I now sit in a dark room with my second son napping to my right in the pack n play. I’ve got a playlist on spotify going and ESPN playing on the TV in front of me. I recall starting this part of the story to bring up how important sabbath is, in fact I thought that I would spend that weekend resting and having a sabbath.
Initially I sat on that bench relaxing for the first time since I had gotten up, I didn’t have any stress, but I felt a pain in my heart. I should have just bit the bullet and paid the extra cash to get my wife up there with me. We talked back and forth for a few weeks about the trip, financially we were doing okay, but flights to the Oregon coast were not cheap. Our son Carson was nearly five months old and we really hadn’t gotten down the whole traveling with a baby thing yet.
Hindsight is 20/20 though isn’t it? For just a few months later we would step into the world of COVID-19 and try to navigate that mess, all while removing the idea of travel from our minds. So I sat on that bench looking at the waves, writing the first few paragraphs of this chapter without a care in the world feeling bad I didn’t make more of an effort to get Rachelle and Carson up with me.
I put my phone in my pocket after the party texted me which building to meet at, and then we started the celebration. It was so wonderful to celebrate the Heniz family, a good friend and his wife together with their closest family and friends having a dream ceremony on the beach! We then took the football field walk to the reception area where the party continued with good food and drinks. I remember the sun setting in that late summer evening and feeling absolutely beat, only to realize I had to drive up the coast to Seaside to find my bed.
The night didn’t end there, I walked into the grungy hotel and greeted the front desk.
Front desk “How can I help you tonight?”
Trevor “I am here for my room”
I pulled up my reservation on my phone that I had made through a third party service with my plane tickets and car rental.
FD “Okay.. What is your name again?”
T “Trevor. Trevor Cherryholmes, do you need to see my ID?”
FD “Give me a second.”
At this point it was nearly 10:45 pm, I had been up since 3:30 am and had traveled almost 1500 miles. I was beat, I just wanted to lay down.
FD “So were booked right now, and we don’t have your reservation”
T “Okay, so what do you mean? I have a reservation I paid for right here, I will even show you my bank statement”
FD “Yeah… We’ve been having issues with the third party service apps and websites. We typically tell people to just call us and verify we have room.”
T “So who got my money? Haven’t I paid you for a room?”
At this point I think my frustration was starting to come out on more than just my face. If the person who was working the front desk that evening is reading this, I am sorry if I treated you poorly, please forgive me.
FD “Let me go get my manager so we can figure this out.”
Thankfully she hadn’t left for the day yet.
Manager “Hi sir, it looks like we’ve run into an issue with your reservation. If you would give us a few minutes I can hopefully get you taken care of this evening.”
After a few minutes they handed me my key and pointed me in the direction of my room for the night. I walked down the hall, past the indoor pool where a young family was playing loudly and turned up the stairs. They weren't lying either, every room seemed to be occupied as I walked my way to where I was staying, I waved my keyfob over the sensor and made my way into the room.
It smelled a little bit, I can’t really pinpoint or describe the smell, other than a little murky. I didn't even care, I tossed my backpack onto the first bed and walked past the second directly to the A/C unit in the window. It didn’t occur to me at first, but this style of room was definitely not what I had paid for initially. I set the A/C down to 65, as low as it would go and went to freshen up. Thirty minutes went by and as I stepped out of the bathroom where the tub wouldn’t drain properly I noticed the room hadn’t gotten any cooler, if anything the humidity from the shower made it warmer.
I messed with the unit for a few minutes before I just decided to give up on it, open the window and lay down hoping the cool evening breeze that summer night would do the trick. A few minutes later I was out and before I knew it my alarm was already going off. 6:00am came quickly, I was beginning to regret making this trip so short, and I was missing my wife and son even more.
I changed into some fresh clothes, packed my backpack up and headed out the door. I made sure to stop back at the front desk where I saw the same person from the night before. Said a quick thank you, grabbed a bruised banana and made my way back to the F150 that might have been a nicer and cooler sleep than the one I just had. Thankfully a small coffee shop called Brew 22 was just a few blocks up from that hotel and I made that last stop before heading back to the airport.
Mocha in hand, a new episode of Critical Role, and off we were. I spent that drive thinking about what I had to do when I got home, all of the tasks I still had at work, the things that needed to be done at my house. I couldn’t stop my mind and body from moving, I had totally missed what I was planning on starting this weekend. I had yet to experience any true moment of sabbath.
One of the things that came to me in 2020 when the world was shutting down was that I truly sucked at sabbath. I had gone into that wedding weekend with the expectation of being away, getting rest, having sabbath. Instead, I had planned a huge travel weekend in under 36 hours, I had traveled over 3000 miles round trip. To top it off, after I returned home Saturday afternoon I had to turn my ‘work brain’ back on and prepare myself for a busy Sunday morning at church.
I kept that pace going, we finished 2019 strong, yet in pain, and continued to do everything that we had done the years prior. Until March 2020, when so many of us watched the world shutdown from the comfort of our homes. Two weeks, that’s all it will be right? Boy were we optimistic and ignorant of what was to come. Now I am not going to comment to worry about hashing out how we as a nation and globe worked through 2020, but it is something to look at.
Think back to March of 2020, sure a lot of us experienced this irie fear of the unknown and deadly virus spreading like something you would see out of a zombie movie. But in those few weeks for some, even months for others, how much rest did we find? I don’t want to downplay the anxiety that so many people, including myself and my wife faced, she was still going to work throughout the entire pandemic. But, also during that time we all were forced to slow down, to stop the daily grind that so many of us had fallen victim to. Almost as if 2020 gave us an opportunity to take true sabbath, an opportunity that I truly took on.
I remember those days well. Having endless zoom meetings instead of working in the office, streaming countless shows with my son Carson, playing far too much StarCraft II, starting a DnD campaign with my great friends from the wedding that past fall. I slowed down and found myself breathing above water for the first time in a few years. All of the events that we would typically do that year were gone, all of the late nights spent at church after everyone else had gone were finished. The bills were still paid, groceries were still in the fridge, life outside of the looming pandemic was relatively good. I know how blessed and privileged I am to say that, and I do not take what others went through that year lightly.
I wonder how many people would say that 2020 was the first sabbath they had, stopping all the chaos of their life if only for a moment? I know that many years in my life I have practiced and achieved good sabbath rest, but I have also fallen victim to the race that life has placed us in. 2020 gave me some new perspective, and maybe it was because I had a new son who spent his first birthday in a pandemic celebrating with only my parents and sister. Maybe it was watching so many friends lose loved ones and even losing a few friends myself.
Whatever it was, I know that my mind had been forever altered because of that year, and in that I believe I have found a better understanding of why sabbath is not just a good thing to have, but something that is absolutely necessary for a healthy life. I get it, you might be questioning me why I have this in a story about community?
We should understand something about sabbath
Sabbath : A day of religious observance and abstinence from work, kept by Jewish people from Friday evening to Saturday evening, and by most Christians on Sunday.
So often I think our minds, especially those that spent time in a religious context, see the sabbath as either laying in bed all day doing nothing, or spending it all day at church. Two things to note, both of those things can be sabbath, they both can provide rest to the heart, mind, and soul.
It is not the only way to experience sabbath rest though, I like to tell the story of my mentor Jimmy. Jimmy really pushed me to take a sabbath day when I worked alongside him for a few years. He chose Wednesdays and I chose Fridays, neither of us would be in the office those days and we refused to answer our phone or email unless it was a real emergency that needed our attention.
Jimmy’s sabbath would include yard work, reading, time with his wife, and I am sure other things. What always got me was the yard work, how in the world could that be restful? It’s hard to fathom that until you visit his home, Jimmy’s backyard was immaculate, a true oasis in the desert. He spent time doing “yard work” to perfect his calm and happy place, it truly was beautiful.
How I found rest was totally the opposite. I spent many of my Friday’s off at the ice rink, getting an iced mocha, writing a sci-fi book, playing my games for endless hours, or hitting the gym trying for that next PR. My idea of rest looked so different, but it didn’t mean that it was wrong, I was away from my work not letting the stress of the next thing occupy my mind. In doing these things I am able to be better, I am able to respond to the needs of my job, my family, my community without becoming overwhelmed or feeling the extreme pressure of life that so many of us live by.
Something that Jimmy helped me get better at during our sabbaths was connecting and listening to God. Taking time during that day to really stop and listen, no more preparing sermons, answering emails, or figuring out the next ministry steps. Instead pausing in that day to experience the presence of God, “To be in the Face of Jesus” as my good friend Dave would put it.
I’ve heard the arguments, “I don’t have time. You don’t understand. It’s too difficult for me.” I get it, I’ve been there. So I challenge you, do you have a sabbath day of rest? If yes, great, continue that and help others see why it is important. If not, why? What steps do you need to take to get there?
I think back to Trevor in 2019 as he sat down on that bench by the ocean, ready to take on that weekend and find “rest” only to be burnt out by the next Tuesday. I’ve grown up a lot since then, and I am sure I will look back at these words in 10 or 20 years and see how much more I have grown. Don’t be like me and lie to yourself about your rest, you will thank me later and so will the community that you are active and a part of. Take your sabbath seriously and find a day during the week that you can do what brings you joy, spend the time with those you love dearly, and find real rest for your heart, mind, body, and soul.
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